


The Memories

by silly_mortal



Category: Life Goes On (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:26:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27188600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silly_mortal/pseuds/silly_mortal
Summary: Three people reflect on different memories of Libby.
Relationships: Libby Thacher/Drew Thacher, Libby Thacher/Jerry Berkson
Kudos: 15





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing a different story and the story took a turn, so I separated them. This will be three chapters in total.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kathryn's Memory

The hospital waiting room was filled with people, waiting to find out news about their family members. Generally, rooms like this were a place that was filled with negative emotions, which ranged from worry to panic to grief. However, this was the maternity ward and, while there was always a slight feeling of worry in the air, the main emotion was excitement and joy.

Kathryn surveyed the room, where everyone in this particular area was waiting for news about her daughter, Paige. Her ex-husband Drew sat in a chair, to her right. His adult son, Corky was sitting to her left, holding his younger brother, Nicky, on his lap. Across from Kathryn sat her ex-husband’s ex-wife’s new husband… which was a mouthful to think, much less say. 

The ex-wife in question was nowhere to be see- Oh. There she was.

Entering the room, presumably returning from the bathroom, Libby Thacher walked across the room and took a seat next to her husband. Her new husband. 

Kathryn couldn’t help but stare at the woman who had been the rival for her ex-husband’s affection, as well as that of her daughter’s, for so many years.

When Paige was very young, before she had moved in with Drew and Libby permanently, Kathryn had gone through years of listening to her daughter rave about her stepmother. Childish chortles of ‘Libby said this’ or ‘Libby does that’ would carry on throughout the entire day and night, after Paige had spent any amount of time with them. It never stopped, even years later, when Paige was older and Kathryn only spoke with her via telephone maybe once a year.

“Libby’s eyes are so big! I wish I had been born with eyes like hers,” Paige would say, not to be deterred by Kathryn’s sighs. “Libby can sing so beautifully! Why can’t I have a talent like that?”

Then there was that horrible period, when Corky was a baby, and Paige insisted on calling her ‘Mama Libby’. Upon hearing that for the first time, Kathryn had hit the roof and immediately called Drew up and furiously berated him for instructing his daughter to call another woman ‘Mama’. Drew had insisted that no one had instructed Paige to call Libby that, but that she had picked up ‘Mama’ from hearing them say it to their son. 

Enraged, Kathryn had hung up on Drew, before chastising Paige, who must have only been three or four at the time. She had informed the small girl that Libby was not her mother and would never be her mother. Just to send the point home, she had informed the child that, no matter how nice Libby was too her and how often she told Paige she loved her, Libby would never ever love her as much as one of her own children. That it just wasn’t possible to love a child that belonged to someone else as much as one who belonged to you. 

Even after all these years, Kathryn could still see the pained look on her little girl’s face and, if she allowed herself to think about it, which wasn’t often, she felt guilty.

Maybe it had been a mistake to say such a thing to her daughter but, in the end, it didn’t seem to have made much of a difference. Though Paige and Libby had certainly had their share of troubles over the years, here Libby was in Paige’s hour of need, sitting and waiting, in case she needed her, like any mother would. Although, she was _not_ Paige’s mother.

Of course, in all fairness, Libby probably had more of a right to be here than she herself did, but that didn’t stop Kathryn from feeling that pang of jealousy that she had always felt, when it came to Libby.

As she stared at Libby, Kathryn found herself remembering the first time she had met her. Ever seen her, in fact.

\- 

_Kathryn knocked on the door of the apartment._

_When there was no response after the second attempt, she sighed. Granted, she was two hours early, but that was no matter. She concluded that Drew was probably out picking up his new girlfriend, the one she was supposed to meet for the first time today, and used the key he had given her, for emergencies, to open the front door._

_Gathering the baby, and all of the gear it took to take her anywhere at all, she entered the apartment and looked around. The bedroom door was open and she could see that no one was in the room, even though the bed had been slept in and wasn’t made. There were a woman’s pair of sandals near the front door, those interwoven Mexican leather ones that all the hippies seemed to be wearing these days. A canvas bag, decorated with sew on patches that featured things like happy faces, peace signs and free love, sat on the end of the couch._

_A laugh came from the bathroom. A female laugh._

_For the first time, Kathryn noticed that the shower was running. The laughter suddenly turned into a moan and Kathryn’s eyed widened. This was not what she expected to find when she had decided to show up early for their lunch date. She thought she would catch them off guard, but not…_

_Kathryn thought about what to do. She considered that she could pack up the baby and leave but, knowing Drew’s track record, they would probably be finished with what they were doing by the time she got to the front door. So, she waited._

_She didn’t necessarily want to listen to her ex-husband and his new girlfriend having sex, but there was some tiny… perverse part of her that wanted to know what the girl sounded like at such a moment._

_The girl was loud and didn’t seem to be the **least** bit shy about giving instructions._

_“Harder, Drew… God… Deeper… Ah!… Harder, baby… **Harder**!”_

_“I **am** , Lib!”_

_Kathryn snickered. She knew Drew probably was going as hard as he could but she also knew, from experience, that it was not hard enough._

_“Right **there** , Drew… Right there, baby… God, I love you… Ohh… Don’tstopdon’tstopdon’t- **Ahhhhhh**!”_

_Well… at the least the poor girl managed to finish before he did. Kathryn wanted to warn her that it probably wouldn’t last for very long, because Drew was one to get lazy… quickly._

_Kathryn heard another giggle and stood up, so she would be fully prepared to greet the couple that would be exiting the room._

_When the bathroom door finally opened, they weren’t looking her way. The girl was looking up at Drew, still laughing and he was grinning down at her. Both were completely naked._

_“Hello there!” Kathryn said, enthusiastically._

_The girl turned to look at her and let out a little scream. She heard Drew utter a “What the-” before the door slammed again._

_Kathryn had barely caught a glimpse of the girl but managed to see enough to be insanely jealous. She was probably 5 years younger than herself and had the high, perky breasts and flat stomach of a woman who has never given birth._

_The door opened again and Drew rushed out, soaking wet and a towel around his waist._

_“What are you doing here?! You weren’t supposed to be here until noon!”_

_“Noon?” Kathryn looked up at him, pretending to be surprised. “I thought we had made plans for 10:00.”_

_“For lunch, Katie?”_

_“I thought you said **brunch** … I am so terribly sorry, Andrew. I guess I could lug Paige home and then come **back** again in two hours. I’m sorry to have inconven-”_

_“No, no, no,” Drew sighed. “It’s ok that you’re here. You just surprised us is all. Where's Paige?_

_" She's asleep in her carrier."_

_" Ok.. Let me- Just sit down, Katie.”_

_She sat down and Drew stalked into the bedroom, only to return after a few minutes, completely dressed, with a handful of women’s clothing. He then disappeared back into the tiny bathroom._

_Kathryn heard fevered whispering behind the door and smirked. She had hoped to be at an advantage when they discovered that she had arrived unexpectedly, but she never dreamed that…._

_When the bathroom door opened again, Drew walked out, holding the hand of the girl she had seen before, dragging her behind him. She seemed completely ill at ease, as he pulled her into the living room._

_Kathryn stood up from the couch, in order to size up her… well, not her **competition** exactly. She certainly didn’t want Drew for herself and hadn’t even since before she became pregnant with Paige. She just didn’t like the idea of anyone else playing with her former… toys._

_She was delighted to find that the girl – Libby, Drew said her name was – was several inches shorter than her. She nearly had to crane her neck to look up at Kathryn, who was tall and slight. The girl gazed at her through round, wide-set brown eyes that sat in a face that was almost too small for them, like one of those big-eyed Keane paintings. The long nose and big lips also seemed to overcrowd the diminutive face._

_Kathryn hated to admit that, even fresh-faced and freckled, without a stitch of make-up on, the girl was pretty. Possibly even beautiful, but she wasn’t sure with all of that long, dark hair, that was still wet from the shower, hanging everywhere._

_“Aren’t **you** pretty?” Kathryn said, in a sing-song voice that one would usually use on a child._

_“Katie, this is Libby,” Drew said, his arm sliding around Libby’s shoulders. “Lib, this is my ex-wife, Kati-”_

_“Kathryn,” she said, interrupting him._

_Drew shot her a confused look, but Kathryn ignored him._

_She had been called Katie by everyone who knew her but she had been toying with using her given name as a stage name, thinking it somehow made her sound older and more sophisticated.  
The girl in front of her was obviously uncomfortable at having been caught in such a compromising position and Kathryn certainly wanted to take advantage of seeming more sophisticated at this moment._

_Kathryn smiled in a way she hoped would appear genial, while extending her hand. Libby smiled, in discomfort, and took it._

_“My goodness, you look so young! How old are you?”_

_“Almost twenty.”_

_Kathryn looked at Drew, a look of mock surprise on her face._

_“Andrew, I’m surprised at you. She’s just a baby!”_

_Drew rolled his eyes, while Libby looked up at him._

_“She’s a woman, Katie.”_

_“A teenage one.”_

_“That’s still of legal age.”_

_“Barely… Wherever did he find you?” she asked Libby._

_“We met at the university,” Drew answered. “Don’t badger her with a bunch of questions, Katie.”_

_Kathryn looked at Drew and pretended to be hurt._

_“Why are you snappy, Andrew? Is it because I arrived early? ...I **told** you I was sorry and I offered to leave, to let you… get yourselves together. I can **still** do that.”_

_“No, no...” Drew said. “I’m sorry, but you just caught us… at a bad time.”_

_“Really? It sounded like a **good** time to me.”_

_Libby’s face colored and she looked away, mortified._

_“I’m sorry!” Kathryn laughed. “I’m just teasing, trying to lighten to mood. I didn’t mean to embarrass you, Lizzy.”_

_“Libby,” she said._

_“I’m sorry… Libby. I’m also **terribly** sorry for my intrusion. I seem to have gotten my times mixed up and, when Drew didn’t answer the door, I just assumed he was out picking you up. Since I had brought the baby all the way up here, I just went ahead and used my key to let myself in. I never dreamed the two of you would be in the… throes of passion. And **first** thing in the morning, no less! ...I didn’t even know you had moved in.”_

_“Libby doesn’t live here,” Drew explained. “She spent the night last night.”_

_“Oh, I see. Where do you live?” Kathryn asked Libby._

_“I live with my parents.”_

_A peal of laughter escaped Kathryn._

_“With your parents? Of course you do. I mean, you’re **hardly** more than a child.”_

_“I thought you were living with **your** parents, as well,” Libby countered, beginning to lose her patience._

_“Yes, but that's only for the sake of convenience. I’ve already been married and have a child and have lived away from home for a long time.”_

_“You were also living with them when you were Libby’s age,” Drew reminded her._

_“At her age, I also had a boyfriend who was my **own** age.”_

_“I-” Libby started, but Drew cut her off._

_“There’s no reason to even talk about any of this,” he stated. “Libby is an adult. She spent the night and you shouldn’t have just walked in, uninvited. That’s all.”_

_Both women stared at each other a moment. Drew rubbed Libby’s shoulder and kissed the top of her head._

_“Of course, Andrew, you're right,” Kathryn conceded._

_She gave Drew a warm smile and a slightly colder one to Libby. She could see in the younger woman’s eyes that she was able to read Kathryn like a book and was not buying her ‘play nice’ act._

_“In any case," Drew started. "Lib is planning on making us this wonderful lunch and then you two can just get to know each other.”_

_“Oh, that’s right!" Kathryn exclaimed. "I’m very much looking forward to your food. You’re Eye-talian, right? Andrew says you’re an excellent cook!”_

_“She is," he smiled down at Libby, proudly. "She's absolutely amazing.”_

_“Well, I can’t wait to taste it! What are you making?”_

_“I’m making lasagna with meat sauce.”_

_“Her meat sauce is to die for, better than any restaurant I've ever been to."_

_“Oh-” Kathryn said, putting a look of panic on her face. “I’m sorry, but I’m vegetarian…"_

_Drew and Libby looked at each other, confused._

_"But that’s ok. I can just eat… I don’t know. Breadsticks, maybe?”_

_“Since when are you vegetarian, Katie?” Drew asked. “You’ve eaten meat as long as I’ve known you and lasagna has always been your favorite. That's why Libby is making it.”_

_“Um, just recently. It’s healthier, don’t you think?" Kathryn smiled, innocently. In any case, I’ll eat something else. Whatever you have that's vegetarian is fine.”_

_“Ok… What do we have, Lib?”_

_“We didn’t get anything else,” Libby looked at him. “I can go to the market and get stuff to make something else.”_

_“Oh no!” Kathryn insisted. “That isn’t necessary… I can just **watch** you two eat.”_

_Drew sighed._

_“I’ll go,” he said. “There’s that market on the corner, so I should only be a few minutes. I’ll get some stuff for salad and… **something** else. You can whip up something vegetarian and still make me the lasagna, right Lib? You know it’s my favorite.”_

_Libby gave him an incredulous look, but Drew just grinned at her and didn’t seem to take the hint. Seeming to admit defeat, Libby finally nodded. Kathryn could tell she wasn’t happy about suddenly having to cook two meals, but Drew didn’t notice. Men never noticed those things._

_Drew kissed Libby on the cheek, grabbed his wallet and headed out the door._

_Once he had left, Libby gave Kathryn a forced smile._

_“So, Lizzy…”_

_“Libby.”_

_“Libby?” Kathryn repeated, sounding perplexed. “What kind of name is Libby? Is that an Eye-talian name?”_

_“No… It’s a nickname for Elizabeth.”_

_“Oh. I thought Lizzy is the more common nickname for Elizabeth.”_

_“I’m **not** common.”_

_They stared at each other for a long time._

_Libby was the first to give in when she finally turned away and headed to the tiny, adjoining kitchen. Kathryn watched her, silently, as the young woman began moving about the kitchen, taking out the items she needed in order to make the lasagna. She seemed to be familiar with the apartment, seeing as how she knew where everything was._

_The girl was young and, though she was allowing Kathryn to push her buttons, Kathryn assumed it was only for Drew’s sake. From the look in her eyes, she didn’t think Libby would take being bullied by anyone, but she was willing to put up with a bit of discomfort for the benefit of the man she loved._

_So, this was the type Drew was going for now, Kathryn thought to herself. A hippie. It didn't actually surprise her, because that was the look Drew himself had taken on, once the two of them had split up. He was trying to find himself and, while doing that, he had found a girl who was the polar opposite of what his ex-wife was._

_While Kathryn's blonde hair was perfectly coiffed in a shoulder length flip, which seemed to be going out of fashion, Libby’s now-dried hair and was falling down her back, in silky, reddish-brown waves. Kathryn wore an ice blue skirt-suit and Libby was clad in a pair of denim shorts, along with a peasant blouse. She was braless and not the least bit self-conscious about it. Not that she should be. She had the perfect body type to pull it off, not that Kathryn would ever admit that to anyone else._

_As she watched the young woman pad around her former kitchen in her bare feet, she realized how free Libby was, both in her life and in her spirit. She was a college girl, still living with her parents, and had no responsibilities. What Kathryn wouldn’t give to trade lives with her... Well, except for being with Drew. There was a reason the two were not still together._

_Kathryn wondered how long this relationship between Drew and Libby would last. Libby was so young and just on the brink of coming into her own in life. The last thing Kathryn would advise someone that age of is getting tied down to a man, especially one who already had a child. After all, Kathryn herself hadn’t wanted that life. She had proven that by leaving Drew, shortly after their daughter was born. If it weren’t considered so improper to do so, she would have left the baby with him, as well._

_She hadn’t been ready for the life of a wife and mother. She had known it before she married Drew, but it was what her family expected of her. They had pressured her, so, she married her high school boyfriend. The next thing that was expected was the birth of a child and, once that had happened, she fell even deeper in the hole._

_She had tried to deal with the situation, but she just couldn’t. She considered that she loved Paige but, if she was being honest with herself, she knew that she loved the compliments people gave her about the baby even more. And she loved herself and the idea of her freedom even more than that._

_Kathryn noticed Libby watching her out of the corner of her eye, while she prepared the meal. She was probably sizing her up, the same way Kathryn had done to her._

_“I’m going to help myself to something to drink, if that’s ok,” Kathryn said._

_“Of course,” Libby responded. “The glasses are up-”_

_“Oh, I know where they are. This used to be my apartment.”_

_Silently, the girl went back to adding spices to the meat sauce she was preparing._

_“How long have you and Drew been together?” Kathryn asked, suddenly._

_“A few months.”_

_“Do you stay over often?”_

_“As often as I can.”_

_“Do you have a job or do you just go to school.”_

_“I don’t have a regular job, but I work here and there…"_

_" Doing what?"_

_"I’m a singer, so I get gigs.”_

_“Paying ones?”_

_Libby shot her a look, as she stirred her sauce._

_“Usually.”_

_“A **singer**? But Andrew said you are an **actress** ,” Kathryn said, in an overly friendly voice. “So am I.”_

_“I’ve heard.”_

_“I guess Andrew has a type, doesn’t he? Well… sort of,” Kathryn said, as her eyes traveled over Libby’s long hair. “He always preferred blondes… before.”_

_“Well, maybe his tastes have… **evolved** ,” Libby said, looking at Kathryn, pointedly._

_“I don’t know if evolved is the exact word, but they’ve certainly changed…"_

_The silence hung in the air, thickly. Finally, Kathryn spoke again._

_"So, what have you done? Acting wise, I mean.”_

_“I’ve been working in summer stock since I was a child,” Libby said. “I’ve done Little Women, A View From the Bridge, South Pacific, Gypsy, West Side Story, Guys and-”_

_“Oh, mainly… **musicals**.”_

_“I’ve done a lot of musicals, yes.”_

_“I’m more of a **serious** actress. I’m more interested in the craft of acting than bouncing around on stage.”_

_Libby stared at her, evenly. She opened to her mouth, to speak, but front door suddenly opened. Drew ambled in, carrying in a bag of groceries. He looked at them and immediately noticed the tension._

_“What have you girls been talking about?” he asked, nervously. “Me?”_

_Kathryn went to him, smiling._

_“Only good things, Andrew. Only good things… I’ve just been getting to know Libby. She was telling me all about her love of musicals.”_

_“Oh yeah… She has a real voice on her. Sing something, Lib!”_

_Kathryn turned to look at Libby and rejoiced at the look of disbelief on her face._

_"Oh yes, I'd love to hear something, Libby!" Kathryn smiled, expectantly._

_“Maybe later,” Libby said._

_Drew shrugged, and smiled that infuriatingly goofy smile of his. For a moment, Kathryn thanked her lucky stars that he wasn’t hers anymore. She almost felt sorry for Libby at that moment, but the sound of her baby crying made her forget what she had been thinking._

_Kathryn sighed. She had thought the dose of cold medicine she had given Paige would keep her sleeping for at least another hour or two. True, the child didn’t actually have a cold but the last thing she wanted to have to do was deal with a baby at the same time she was trying to intimidate her father’s new girlfriend. She could hardly do that with a screamin-_

_She was shaken out of her thoughts when she heard Drew’s cooing. She turned to watch him, as he lifted their 9-month-old daughter from her carrier._

_“Hi Button! Did you miss your daddy?”_

_Baby Paige giggled, as her father blew kisses against her cheek._

_“Lib, Paige is awake!” he said, excitedly._

_“I’m coming!” Libby called, happily, wiping her hands on a dish towel._

_“Oh Andrew,” Kathryn warned, loud enough for Libby to hear. “You know how Paige is with **strangers**.”_

_“Libby isn’t a stranger,” Drew said._

_“Hi Paigie!”_

_Kathryn stared, as her baby daughter’s face lit up the second she saw Libby. The tiny girl immediately reached her chubby little arms out for her and practically leaped into Libby’s open arms. The girl showered Paige’s tiny face in kisses and spun her around, while the baby laughed uncontrollably. It was a game they had obviously played before._

_“Don’t do that, Libby. She doesn't like it. She’ll vomit.”_

_Libby stopped and looked at Kathryn._

_“Why would she throw up, Katie?” Drew asked. “We play with her like this all the time and she’s never done it before.”_

_“She’s not well today. Her stomach isn’t good.”_

_“Oh, I’m sorry, Kathryn!” Libby said, her eyes widening with a look of genuine remorse. “I didn’t know. I would never make her sick on purpose.”_

_Kathryn watched as Paige tugged on Libby’s long hair, laughing and trying to get her attention. Libby stroked her back and gave her a kiss on the cheek._

_“Maybe you should just give her to me,” Kathryn said, not liking at all how attached her daughter was to this school girl._

_She pulled the child out of Libby’s arms and Paige immediately began wailing. She turned back to Libby and reached for her, turning red as she screamed._

_“Katie-”_

_“She’ll be fine, Andrew.”_

_Libby looked up at Drew._

_“I need to go check on the sauce,” she said, quietly, before leaving the room._

_“Katie, what’s wrong with you?” Drew demanded, in a whisper. “Libby was just holding her. She didn’t do anything wrong.”_

_“Don’t tell me what’s right or wrong for **our** daughter! I’m the one who is with her all day, every day. You only have to deal with her here and there, whenever you’re not trying to go back to college or **boffing** teenagers!”_

_“Who I **boff** is no concern of yours anymore.”_

_“It is when it concerns our daughter! She’s a hippie – she probably does drugs. Have you thought of **that**? And she’s just a kid. What does she know about babies?”_

_“About as much as we did when Paige was born! Probably more, because she’s a natural. You saw Paige with her, she **loves** her. She takes better care of Paige than I do.”_

_“Why am I meeting this girl, Andrew? We just split up 6 months ago. Are you going to **marry** her?”_

_Drew sighed and ran his fingers through his hair._

_“Katie, I’ve only been with her a few months, but I’m serious about her... We’re not getting married or anything right now, but who knows about someday. She and I both need to finish school and we both have career plans. She wants to move to New York after school and, who knows, maybe I’ll go with her. I don’t know yet.”_

_“You’d leave your daughter to go with this… **girl**?”_

_“I said I don’t know. I have no idea what’s going to happen. I only know that I am in love with Libby and I’m going to be with her. And Paige loves her and is going to be with her, too.”_

_“Your girlfriend is not my child’s mother and she never will be!”_

_“Libby isn’t trying to be Paige’s mother. They just love each other. Isn’t better to have kids surrounded by as many people who love them as possible? Would you rather I had a girlfriend who **didn’t** like Paige?”_

-

At that point, it had been exactly what Kathryn wanted. She could have dealt with a woman like that, because she knew Drew could never love a woman who didn’t love his daughter… and he loved Libby. He’d said as much at the time and it had hit Kathryn like a punch in the gut.

She hadn’t wanted Drew and hadn’t, if she were being honest, since shortly before they got married. Though he had been upset by her decision to leave him, he wasn’t as heartbroken as Kathryn would have liked. She craved drama and loved theatrics. She had hoped, when she told him she wanted a divorce, that he would cry and yell and tell her that, if he couldn’t have her, no one could. But he didn’t. He simply told her he wanted her to be happy.

Kathryn had also hoped that he would feel differently the first time she paraded a new man in front of him… but he had been the one to find someone first. A younger someone. A prettier someone. A someone who could sing, instead of just act. A someone he had married in a makeshift ceremony just two months after the day Kathryn met her. A someone who had not only enchanted her ex-husband, but also her baby daughter who knew nothing other than her own feelings. Her daughter who was no longer a baby, but now a grown woman and was in another room in this hospital, having a baby of her own. 

All of these years later and Kathryn had never managed to break the bond between Libby and Paige, and it was not for lack of trying. Sure, they had experienced their share of ups and downs, ins and outs, but they had managed to remain close. 

If she was honest with herself, which she very rarely was, Kathryn would have to admit that she had done a disservice to her daughter all the times she had filled Paige’s head with such animosity over the years, feeding Paige bits of information about Libby that weren’t actually true. 

Paige had been gifted with a stepmother who truly loved her and treated her as if she were her own daughter, which was evidenced by the fact that she was here in the waiting room, after she and Drew had divorced, waiting for Paige to deliver her child, worrying and fretting, as if she were Paige’s own mother.

Resentment filled her, but Kathryn couldn’t help it. She just couldn’t stand being second best to anyone… and she was exactly that, when it came to Libby. Paige still loved Libby more than her and thought of her as her own mother and Kathryn as… well, Paige looked at her no differently than Drew and Libby's children did. Perhaps as that of an interesting distant cousin.

And then there was Drew… As she looked at him across the room, sitting alone, she noticed that he hadn’t once taken his eyes off of Libby. Not when she had left the room or when she walked back in. Not as she sat there, holding her young son on her lap, and kissing his head.

Drew still pined for Libby, Kathryn could see that. The way he had never pined for her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drew's Memory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know chlamydia can't be passed to a baby but Corky was born in 1970'ish, so I'm guessing they didn't know that then.

Drew watched Libby walk into the waiting room, returning from wherever it was that she had been. She always walked with confidence, as if she were the most self-assured woman on earth… but she was far from that. Drew had known her long enough and still knew her well enough to know that she was filled with crippling self-doubt. She was a woman who was insecure about her looks, her style, her talent, her abilities in the bedroom, outside the bedroom… You name it and Libby Thacher was insecure about it.

As Drew watched her stride across the room and take a seat beside Jerry, he wondered what would cause her to be that way, to make her doubt herself so much. She wasn’t always like that. When they were dating, before they got married, she was the pillar of self-confidence. He used to love watching her up on the stage, his little powerhouse. She used to belt her songs and, as soon as she’d finished, she would search the crowd until she found Drew. As soon as their eyes met, Libby would give him the most glorious smile. He had never in his life felt as loved as in moments like those.

When Libby sat down, Drew noticed Nicky, who must be about three-and-a-half now, climb down from his brother’s lap and up onto his mother’s. The little boy was facing her and immediately rested his head against her chest, yawning. It was too late for kid that age to be awake, but his entire family was here in this room. Drew watched as Libby held him in her arms and stroked his small back, as she rested her cheek against the top of his head.

Seeing her there, holding their son – the son who had no idea that he was his son - Drew found himself thinking back to a memory of her holding their other son… 

\- 

_It was snowing when he walked into the apartment and saw Libby was sitting in the rocking chair her grandfather had made for her, rocking the baby. She was wearing a large flannel shirt over a pair of gray long johns and had on her favorite thick, fuzzy pink socks. Her hair looked like it had been freshly washed and was hanging loose, the way he liked it best. Drew smiled as he thought about what a pretty picture she made, as she held their three-month-old son in her arms._

_He kicked his boots against the wall, to rid them of the snow, and shook off his coat, to do the same._

_“How did the appointment with the doctor go?” he asked, as he did so._

_When she didn’t answer, he called her name._

_“Lib?”_

_Silence._

_Drew looked up to see Libby had stopped rocking and was staring at him, with those huge brown eyes of hers. They were filled with a coldness, the likes of which he had never seen before._

_“The doctor said I have chlamydia.”_

_Drew froze._

_“I haven’t been with another man since before I met you, so how did I get chlamydia, Drew?”_

_‘Shitohshitohshit,’ Drew thought._

_“Answer me, you son of a bitch!”_

_“Libby-”_

_“Don’t you Libby me. Don’t you **dare** try to reason with me or come up with an excuse – just tell me the goddamned truth.”_

_“It- I-”_

_He couldn’t speak. He just stood there stammering, while she stared at him as coldly as if there were ice flowing through her veins. She kept her heated words to a whisper, in order to keep from waking their sleeping son._

_“At least tell me **why** , if you’re too chickenshit to actually say **what** you did!”_

_Drew knew he should tell her, try to come up with an excuse, even though there was no excuse. He knew he should tell her that he was weak and selfish and a piece of shit for what he had done. He owed her that, at the very least._

_“Why, Drew? Because I gained weight because I was pregnant? Because I’m not as attractive when I’m not **half** your size? Or was it because I wasn’t as active in bed because I was growing a **human being** in my body?!”_

_Still, Drew said nothing._

_He watched as Libby clutched their sleeping son to her chest, kissing the top of his head. She made no attempt to wipe at the silent tears that rolled down her cheeks._

_“Lib… I’m so… God, Lib...”_

_“Tell me why, Drew… Tell me why you did this. What did I do to make you do this?”_

_“Babe… I’m sorry-”_

_“Don’t call me babe! I don’t want to hear your sorrys, I want to know why!”_

_“Lib, there is no why. It just… happened.”_

_“It just happened?” she stared at him, with a look of incredulity on her face. “How does it just happen, Drew? It doesn’t just happen with you and I. I’m never just making dinner or cleaning the house and you somehow trip and end up inside me… In the whole almost year-and-a-half that we’ve known each other, that has never once happened. It’s always taken a little cooperation from **both** sides.”_

_“Lib-”_

_“Stop saying my goddamned name, Drew! Just tell me **why**!”_

_Drew took a seat on the couch and dropped his head into his hands._

_“Answer me, you coward!” she hissed._

_“I can’t give you an answer, Libby. There is no answer… I was just… feeling stressed out about Corky. We just had a baby, you know!”_

_“Do I know? Oh yes, I know! I’m the one whose body he tore his way out of! But **you’re** stressed? Why is that, Drew? Were the ten minutes you spent putting him in there – or more like five, actually – stressful for you?”_

_Drew sighed, shakily._

_Libby was angry and she had the right to be angry, but if she dreamed he was going to let her just continue to insult him-_

_“Answer me, Drew! Tell me what was, oh, so stressful for you.”_

_“We have a son with a disability, Libby. Our son isn’t normal and no matter how much you try to pretend that everything is going to be ok, it might not be. He may never walk or talk or see and that’s stressful!”_

_“And burying your cock into some other woman helps ease that stress for you, does it?”_

_He looked at her, as she glared daggers at him._

_“Who is it, Drew? Was it just one woman or more? How many times?”_

_“Libby-”_

_“I have a right to know this, you cheating bastard! I have a right to know **all** of it!”_

_“Lib, it will only hurt you more-”_

_Libby laughed, an animated laugh that made her sound on the verge of hysteria._

_“Hurt me **more**? Do you think it’s at **all** possible for you to do that, Drew?”_

_“I am so sorry, Lib. So **very** sorry. I love you and I-”_

_“When the **hell** did it happen, Drew? When could it have possibly happened? You’re either sneaking out in the middle of the night, when I manage to catch an hour or two of sleep, or you’re fucking someone during your lunch hour, which is highly doubtful since you keep coming home for your daily dose of fucking me – as if I don’t have **enough** to do all day, between cooking, cleaning and taking care of two babies!”_

_Drew hung his head to avoid her piercing stare, the one that seemed as if she could see right through to his soul._

_“When do you manage it, Drew?” she demanded. “I want to know! I want to know how you’re managing to screw around on me when the only place you go is to work and to take Paige back and forth to Kath-”_

_Drew looked up at her. Libby’s impossibly large eyes widened even further._

_“Oh-”_

_“Lib-”_

_“Oh, no-”_

_“Lib, please-”_

_“Nooo!”_

_Her screech woke up the baby, who immediately started wailing._

_When Drew went to him, Libby shoved him away._

_“Get away from my son!”_

_She stood up with the sobbing infant in her arms and began trying to soothe him. Instinctively, she opened her blouse and offered her breast to him but, as soon as the child clamped onto her nipple, she realized what she had done and pulled it out of his mouth._

_Instantly, the baby began screaming._

_“Mama’s sorry, baby…. I’m **so** sorry...” she said, beginning to cry, along with him._

_Holding her child in one arm, she prepared a pot of water to boil. Once it was on the stove, she pulled out a can of baby formula from the cabinet._

_“What’s that?” Drew asked._

_“I can’t feed the baby anymore, you bastard,” she seethed. “Whatever **you** gave **me** – whatever that **whore** gave **you** – made it impossible for me to feed my baby. He has to be fed by **formula** now, which isn’t nearly as healthy! With all of his problems, the last thing he needs to do is be deprived of proper nutrition!”_

_“Lib,” Drew sighed, in exasperation. “How was I supposed to know that would happen?”_

_“How were **you** supposed to know? You shouldn’t **have** to know. If you hadn’t been cheating on your wife – your wife who **just** had a baby – you wouldn’t ever have to think of it! If you had been faithful, like a decent human being under the sun, you wouldn’t even have to consider whether a disease you passed onto the mother of your child could be then passed down to the child!”_

_She continued crying, holding their son to her, as she waited for the water to boil on the stove._

_“Libby, let me hold him-”_

_“No! The **least** I can do is hold him, when he’s crying!”_

_“Goddamn it, Libby,” he snapped, losing his patience. “Quit being a fucking martyr!”_

_Abruptly, Libby stopped crying. Slowly, she turned to look at him._

_“A martyr, you say? A fucking **martyr**? Fuck you, Drew, you cheating fucking bastard! **Fuck. You.** ”_

_“This is your fault, you know?” Drew stated._

_Libby laughed, though she wasn’t at all amused._

_“My fault? Oh, tell me, Drew… I can’t wait to hear how you not being able to keep your cock in your pants is my fault! Am I not giving you enough sex? Is that it?”_

_When he didn’t answer, she continued speaking, as she managed to take the bottle out of pot, shake it and test the warm liquid on her arm, before putting it in her baby’s mouth._

_“You have a go at me **almost** every day and I let you… Not because I want to have sex with you, but because I’ve been afraid to say no for exactly this reason! I didn’t want to give you the chance to have an excuse to look somewhere else for it. It doesn’t matter how exhausted I am or how disgusting I feel or how sick I am, I either suck you off or let you do me every single time you want to! So, you tell me how you cheating on me is **my** fault, Drew!_

_“I went to the doctor because having sex was painful and I was so stupid that I thought something was wrong with **me**! I thought there was something wrong with my body that I couldn’t recover from giving birth like any normal woman does! I’ve been giving you blow jobs **every single day** , because I don’t want you to have to go without just because I am hurting – and **you’re** the reason I’m hurting! Not me! I’ve been letting you stick your diseased cock in my **mouth** because I thought there’s something wrong with me and I didn’t want you to have to suffer for it! My mouth, Drew! You’ve gotten me sick and I’ve been **feeding the baby**! Feeding your **disease** to him! Thank God I didn’t infect him!_

_“And **her** , Drew? Of all people on earth, you chose **her**? You know how she treats me, how much she hates me! She probably doesn’t even want to be with you, she just wants to hurt me! I would rather you been with any woman on earth besides her! How could you?”_

_“Katie and I have a history, Lib-”_

_“A history?! Well, you’d better plan for a future with her, too, because you are **not** going to have one with me!”_

_“Libby, stop it. You are completely overreacting.”_

_“Overreacting? My God, you fucking narcissist! How did this happen?” she seemed to ask herself, out loud. “How did I let this happen to me? How did I get **stuck** with you?”_

_“You got stuck with me?” he laughed. “I got just as stuck with you, sweetheart!”_

_“Please…” Libby scoffed. “Do you think you’re a prize, Drew? Do you think I somehow won the lottery with you? You’re older than me and divorced, with a child! Sometimes I think the only reason you started dating me is so I’d be a built-in babysitter for Paige!”_

_“And you, Lib? You’re just past being a teenager – half the time I feel like I have to raise you, as well as my daughter!”_

_Libby stared at him._

_“I was old enough for you to want to **fuck**. You made that clear from day one!”_

_“And you held out for as long as you could, like **you** were some fucking prize to be won. Do you think you’re something special, Lib, just because you were pretty and could sing? Well, you might be able to sing, but the pretty is all gone now, babe, just like your fucking dreams. Now, you look like the worn out housewife that you are and always will be!”_

_She shook her head at him._

_“What am I supposed to look like, Drew? I’m not even 21 yet and I have a cheating husband and am raising a child with a disability – and practically raising another child. I didn’t sign up for this.”_

_“Oh, you signed up for it, babe. This is **exactly** what you signed up for when you brought your damaged genes into my life!”_

_Libby stared at Drew, in shock._

_“What did you say?”_

_Drew started to speak, but then thought better of it and closed his mouth._

_“Are you trying to say that our son having Down’s Syndrome is **my** fault?” she asked. “The doctors all say that it’s no one’s fault!”_

_“All I know, Libby, is that I already had a child – a **perfect** child – and it wasn’t until my genes mixed with yours that I suddenly had a kid with problems.”_

_The room went silent, with the only sound being those of the baby drinking from his bottle._

_“Drew…” Libby said, in an eerily calm voice. “If you don’t want my **imperfect** child, you are free to go back to your perfect one… and her whore of a mother.”_

_“Stop calling my daughter’s mother a whore,” he seethed._

_Libby snorted._

_“ **Your** daughter’s mother slept with **my** son’s father, while he is married to me, and, in my book, that makes her a whore! In fact, you’re **both** whores! You **and** her. You-”_

_Libby’s head jerked to the right when the back of his hand slammed against her cheek and there was a loud crash, as the baby bottle fell to the floor, shattering._

_When she looked back at him, her huge dark eyes opened wider than he thought humanly possible, he noticed a drop of blood running down her chin from the corner of her mouth, where his pinky ring had cut her._

_“Oh Lib-” he said, apologetically, reaching for her._

_Instinctively, she pulled away and backed across the room, holding her screaming baby as closely to her as she could._

_“Don’t touch me! You are **never** going to touch me again!”_

-

But, of course, he had touched her again… eventually. They had talked and decided that it was in their son’s best interest to work through their problems and remain together, as a family. They had stayed together for almost 25 years, having a daughter together – one who was genetically perfect, to their mutual relief – and, eventually, another son. The son Libby was now holding in her arms, running her fingers through his dark hair. They’d had their problems but, for the most part, their marriage had been good. At least, he had thought so.

Drew would like to say that he had never struck her again but it wasn’t the truth. He had certainly never _beaten_ her, but there were times that things had gotten… out of control. It had never happened in front of the kids though. He was positive that they had no idea that there were issues between their parents.

He also wasn’t able to say that he’d never cheated again. He had and often. He had always been a sucker for pretty women and, when one gave him an inkling she was interested, he was unable to resist. He had tried to be discreet about it and, after the chlamydia incident, had always used a condom, but cheating was cheating. Thankfully, Libby had never noticed and she wasn’t the type of woman he had to worry about, in that area. She would have never cheated on him. She was loyal and Catholic and would never have thought to do such a thing. 

Sensing his stare, Libby lifted her eyes to meet Drew’s. 

The look she gave him startled him. He had seen it before. It was the same look she had given him the night of his memory, the night he had walked in the door and found her in that rocking chair, waiting for him. 

Suddenly, Drew realized that it was the same look she had given him every day since that night, that this same look had been in her eyes every single time she had looked him since that day, that moment. Since then, she had never _not_ looked at him like that. As his mind went through his catalog of memories, he could suddenly see it so clearly. She would be laughing with one of their children and, whenever she glanced his way her eyes would suddenly develop a hard, cold glint, even if she continued smiling.

How had he never noticed that before now? How had he missed this thinly veiled contempt in her eyes, as they’d celebrated countless birthdays, anniversaries and Christmases together, posed for family photos, danced together, made love together…? How could it have possibly escaped him for nearly 25 years?

As they stared at each other, across the waiting room, Drew realized that it was because he had never really paid attention to Libby. Not really. Oh, he had noticed her when she irritated him or when he was in the mood and she was looking particularly attractive that day. He had noticed her as his wife and the mother of his children, but never as herself… as Libby, a person who has separate from him or their kids. 

She was Libby Thacher, a part of _his_ family – a partner when it came to making decisions for their children, a sounding board when he needed someone to vent to and a warm body in his bed when he needed to have his physical needs met. He had never really considered her as anyone other than that, as anything more than an extension of himself. He found himself wondering if he _ever_ had.

Libby raised her eyebrows, questioningly, at him. Not knowing what to say, Drew gave her a sheepish smile and looked away. When he dared to look back her way, he saw her smiling, lovingly, at Jerry, as he touched her face.

She was no longer a Thacher, but a Berkson, and Libby Berkson never looked at _her_ husband the way Libby Thacher had looked at hers. Libby Berkson still carried that scar on her lip, the same way Libby Thacher had, but her eyes were warm and shone with love every time she glanced in the direction of the man she had married. Hers were the eyes of a woman who loved and was loved in return. A confident woman. A happy woman.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jerry's memory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jerry's memory is the night before my other story, The Conference, starts. :-)

“What’re you thinkin’ about, Libs?” Jerry asked, as he looked over at his wife.

“Nothing really.”

He had known her long enough to know that her words were not convincing. 

She had plenty to be nervous about, given that her step-daughter was just down the hall in the midst of giving birth to her first child, but Jerry knew that this was not what she was thinking about at the moment.

“Tell me,” he said, as he gently touched her face.

Libby blushed a bit and sighed, resignedly. 

“I was just wondering what you were going to think about being married to a _grandmother_.”

Jerry shrugged.

“I hadn’t really thought about it…” he admitted. “ _Should_ I think anything in particular?”

“I don’t know… But, anytime now, that door will open and I will suddenly have a granddaughter or a grandson. Isn’t that strange to you?”

“Not really, because you’re an incredibly young grandmother. You’re almost _hillbilly_ young.”

“ _Hillbilly_ young? Nice choice of words, Jer... I’m hardly that young, but thanks.”

“Plus, with a kid almost the _same_ age as your grandkid, you fit the bill even closer,” he teased, gesturing to their three-year-old son, who was asleep in her arms.

“Thank you, Jerry,” she shook her head.

“Are you going to stop coloring your hair and let it go white?”

“My hair isn’t _white_... and no.”

He leaned down and whispered into her ear, so that the rest of the waiting room couldn’t hear him.

“Can I start calling you _Granny_ in bed?”

“God, no!” 

“Right there... Give it to me, _Granny_!”

Libby burst out laughing, causing Jerry to smile, happily. One of the most wonderful things in the world to him was the sound of her laughter. He tried his best to make her laugh every single day.

Snickering, Libby leaned over and rested her head on Jerry’s shoulder. His arms immediately went around her, causing her to snuggle against him. He pressed a tender kiss to her cheek and, when he looked up, he saw Libby’s ex-husband looking at him.

Drew Thacher.

Jerry hated Drew with every fiber of his being and he was certain that the feeling was mutual. 

He resented the fact that Drew had treated Libby poorly, during the more than 20 years he was married to her. He had been dismissive of her thoughts and feelings, ignorant of her wants and needs and, most of all, unfaithful. And, while Libby had never either confirmed or denied it, Jerry had the feeling that Drew had also gotten physical with her on more than one occasion.

As he and Drew stared at each other, mentally sizing each other up from across the room, Jerry found himself remembering the night he and Libby had become a couple, even as she wore Drew’s ring on her finger.

-

_“-and that’s it.”_

_“Jeez, Libs...” Jerry said, shaking his head. “You’ve just had this **fake** marriage going on all these years..?”_

_“Well, I wouldn’t call it a fake marriage. It’s a real marriage… just not a good one,” she shrugged._

_He watched as Libby leaned back against the booth seat and sighed._

_She was drunk. They both were. They came to this karaoke bar hours ago, at the suggestion of one of the other ad executives who had been attending the same conference they were, and that was several hours and **many** drinks ago. At some point, Jerry had talked Libby into getting up to sing and, ever since then, drinks and request for more songs from fellow patrons had been continually coming in. Over the course of the night, she had probably sung a dozen songs and they had each had nearly as many drinks. _

_To Jerry’s great relief, the other ad executives who were with them at the bar had finally left. He wanted to spend some time alone with Libby, something he very rarely got to do outside of work. They had spent the last hour talking in a way they never had before, so open and personal. Libby had opened up about her miserable marriage and shared secrets, thoughts and feelings with him that he had never even considered she had. It had somehow drawn them together and made them feel closer to another… at least, that’s what he thought._

_He was grateful when he glanced over at Libby and noticed that she had closed her eyes, because it gave him the chance to really look at her, a chance he so seldom had. He had always stolen glances at her at the office every chance he got, but had never been given the opportunity to really drink her in._

_God, she was beautiful, he thought._

_Her eyes were still closed, her head was tilted back and she was using one hand to lift her long hair off the back of her neck, in order to cool herself down a bit. Beneath those closed lids were eyes of the warmest brown, always filled with ever-changing emotion. The nose she hated, the one she was always complaining about the size of, was, in his eyes, exactly right. It wasn’t exactly petite but it fit her face perfectly and had such character, just as Libby herself did. Her lips, those full, plump lips of hers that he would spend hours staring at when they were in the office, were slightly parted, displaying a the tiniest view of the perfect teeth that laid beneath._

_Libby had taken down her long auburn hair hours ago and it was hanging loose, long past her shoulders, and halfway down her back. Those shoulders were bare, aside from the slimmest black spaghetti straps. Her blazer had long been removed and she was now clad only in the dress she had worn beneath it. The dress itself was black and utterly simple, but those teeny straps were thin enough to reveal that she wasn’t wearing a bra tonight. The neckline was low, not enough to be considered vulgar, but enough to show the dusting of freckles across her chest and the only barest hint of cleavage._

_She had released her hair and was running her fingers through it when she opened her eyes, to find him staring at her. Instantly, her lips spread into a wide smile._

_“I was lost in thought for a moment... Was I doing something embarrassing?”_

_“Not at all… What were you thinking about?”_

_“About you- I mean, us. I mean…” she struggled to find the right words. “I’m having a wonderful time tonight… with you. I can’t remember the last time I had so much fun.”_

_“We should do this more often, Libs… We could always just... hang out together here and there, when we get back home.”_

_She smiled, sadly._

_“I would **love** that, but it wouldn’t go over well with Drew. He doesn’t even like me spending time with female friends, so he really wouldn’t allow me to hang out with a man. It would be nice, though... I like this... feeling like **me** instead of like someone’s mom or someone’s wife. Just… Libby. I think I had forgotten who she was.”_

_“I like her,” Jerry smiled. “A lot.”_

_She returned his smile and glanced at the table, which was riddled with empty glasses._

_“How much of this is ours?”_

_“Most of it... I think I owe you some dinners when we get home, Libs. Your singing has paid for about a hundred bucks worth of free drinks tonight…”_

_“I can’t believe people just kept sending them over like that.”_

_“They wanted you to keep singing and that was a good way to do it. Pretty cheap, too! I would have started throwing hundred dollar bills at you in order to get you to keep you singing.”_

_She looked at him, in mock surprise._

_“Just to sing a few songs, Jer? I would have done **a lot** more than that for hundred dollar bills.”_

_“Really?” he asked, teasingly. “Well, I just so happen to have a few hundreds here in my wallet, if you feel like jumping up on this table and giving me a dance.”_

_“Maybe later,” she laughed. “I’m gonna run to the bathroom right now. I’ll be right back.”_

_Jerry watched, smiling to himself, as she left the table and headed across the bar, toward the facilities._

_He loved Libby. He had known it for a very long time, though he doubted she knew. In the years she had been working for him, he had quickly gone from thinking of her as a trusted colleague to his best friend. It was around that time that he realized that his feelings had also changed to those of a more romantic nature._

_Jerry Berkson had fallen in love and he had fallen hard. It astounded him because he had never felt this way before. Over the years, he had dated countless women, and even married one, in a spur of the moment error in judgment, but the way he had felt about them in no way compared to the feelings he had for Libby._

_Libby Thacher. His employee, his occasional sparring partner and his closest friend._

_His feelings were always kept to himself because he had always considered Libby to be a happily married woman, who was completely content with her life. It wasn’t until tonight, when she began making confessions, that he realized that the woman he had silently loved from afar was treated poorly by the man who was lucky enough to have her and that, for the past couple of decades, she had felt completely unloved and unworthy of love._

_As he was mulling over what ways he could go about showing her that she was indeed deeply cared for, he noticed Libby appear across the room. She smiled broadly when their eyes met._

_As she strode toward their booth, Jerry saw a man take her arm, in order to stop her. He watched as Libby shook her head and gestured to where Jerry was sitting. He sat up, finding something something strange in the way she was reacting. Just as Jerry was about to get up, the man let go of her arm and Libby returned to their table._

_“What was that about?” he asked, as she settled back in the booth, sitting closer to him than she had been before._

_“He hit on me, if you can believe that.”_

_“I can absolutely believe it,” he relied, honestly. “What did he say?”_

_“He wanted to show me his apartment, as if that line actually works on women… I told him that I didn’t think my **husband** would like it and told him that it was you, so I hope you don’t mind being my husband for a bit, Jer.”_

_“I can’t imagine anyone would mind that,” he smiled, sincerely._

_Libby smiled at him and gave him a playful nudge._

_“Hey Libs…” he said, incerely. “Why have you never told me any of this before?”_

_“Any of what?”_

_“What we were talking about earlier.”_

_“That my husband and I don’t love each other and that he messes around on me every chance he gets? I’ve never told **anyone** that before. I probably wouldn’t have even said it today, if I hadn’t had so much to drink and had a clear head… And I don’t know, Jer... To be honest, I guess we never seemed like **that** kind of friends.”_

_“Whaddya mean not **that** kind of friends? I tell you stuff about my ex-wife all the time!”_

_“You complain about her all the time, but that’s not personal stuff. I mean it’s no different than how you complain about everyone. You talk about me the exact same way!”_

_“I would **never** talk about you the way I do about my ex-wife. You are **nothing** like her.”_

_“Oh, I know I’m nothing like her, Jer. We all know your type – tall, curvy blondes – and I am **not** it.”_

_“That is **not** my type.”_

_“No? Have your preferences changed? Do tall redheads do it for you now?”_

_“I’m actually more into stubby brunette shorties,” he teased._

_Libby laughed, despite herself._

_“Well, I guess do fit into that category… On behalf of stubby brunette shorties everywhere, we are flattered by your admiration.”_

_Jerry smirked._

_“You know you’re not stubby, right?”_

_“Just short?” she gave him a wan smile._

_“Well, you’re short, but that’s not what I mean…”_

_“What **do** you mean?”_

_“You’re… very pretty, Libs.”_

_She stared at him a long time._

_“Is that the alcohol talking, Jer?”_

_“It might be the alcohol that’s doin’ the talkin’, but not the thinkin’. I’ve **always** thought you were beautiful... ever since the day you walked into the office.”_

_“I’ve gone from pretty to beautiful in a matter of seconds. Now, tell me that’s not the alcohol talking.”_

_“Come on, Libs, you know you’re beautiful.”_

_She blushed and looked away, embarrassed._

_“Actually, I **don’t** , but thank you for saying that. It’s nice of you.”_

_“I’m not saying it to be nice. I’ve always thought that. I’m sure everyone who sees you thinks it.”_

_“I’m pretty sure my husband would disagree with you. It’s been quite a few years since he’s said something like that about me. More than I can count, actually.”_

_“He’s crazy, Libs… and so are you for putting up with his bullshit. You deserve **so** much better than him.”_

_“It’s not all his fault, I know that no one is ever 100% at fault... I’m not so easy to be around, Jer, as you well know.”_

_“Oh, please… You and I, we tease each other, but I think you’re an amazing woman- Uh, person.”_

_“Well, thank you, Jer. I am definitely a... woman-person,” she teased._

_He laughed._

_“You **know** what I mean... I think you’re-”_

_“Excuse me...”_

_Libby and Jerry looked up to see the server setting two filled shot glasses on the table._

_“The couple over there sent these over and asked if you would sing another song,” he said._

_Libby glanced to where the server was gesturing and saw a man and woman who appeared to be in their 30s waving. Libby smiled and nodded, before thanking the server, who was clearing away the multitude of other empty glasses on the table._

_“What do you think this shot is?” Jerry asked, peering into the tiny glass._

_“Jack Daniels,” she concluded, after taking a sniff._

_Libby lifted her glass to Jerry._

_“Cheers,” she said._

_He repeated it and clinked his glass with hers, before they both tossed their shots back._

_“Whoa!” he sputtered, causing Libby to laugh._

_“Good?”_

_“Oh yeah…” he nodded, amazed at how well she managed to hold her alcohol. “What’re you gonna sing?”_

_“I don’t know…” she answered, honestly. “Do you have any requests?”_

_“Can you sing ‘Both Sides Now’? I would **love** to hear you sing that.”_

_Libby gave him a soft smile._

_“Yeah, I can sing it… I never figured you for a Joni Mitchell fan, Jer.”_

_“I like good music, Libs, and I would love to hear you that one… And maybe you don’t know as much about me as you **think** you do.”_

_“Maybe I don’t,” she conceded._

_Giving him a warm smile, Libby got out of the booth and headed to the stage. There was a round of applause from the people in the audience who had been listening to her sing all evening, especially those who had bought them drinks._

_When she took the microphone and began singing the song, Jerry felt his heart swell._

_As beautiful as found Libby to be on any given day, there was something exceptional about her when she stepped onto a stage. Her whole demeanor transformed and she looked as if there were no more comfortable place on earth for her than under that spotlight, in front of people._

_She was mesmerizing, Jerry thought as he watched her. Quite possibly the most beautiful creature that God had ever put on the planet._

_As if sensing his stare, Libby suddenly looked his way and directed her words to him. She was singing directly to him, as if there were no one else in the universe except for the two of them. Those melodic tones that came out of her mouth were meant only for him and, at the thought of this, Jerry’s eyes suddenly fill with tears. Astounded, he tried blinking them away, but he found that they were only replaced by more._

_When Libby finished her song she smiled at the audience, all of whom were fervently applauding, but she reserved her biggest smile for Jerry._

_He wiped his eyes, quickly, as she stepped down from the stage. As she approached the table, Jerry stood up, to greet her._

_“Libs, that was… You really… It…” he stammered._

_“You liked it?” she smiled up at him._

_“Yeah.”_

_She nodded, the smiled not leaving her face. Neither of them moved to sit._

_Suddenly, music began playing. It was a ballad. A love song._

_“Jer…” she said, tentatively. “Will you dance with me?”_

_Jerry shifted, uncomfortably._

_“Aww, Libs… I **can’t** dance… Not well, anyway.”_

_“You don’t have to actually dance. You can just stand there and hold me and I’ll move for both of us… Please?”_

_After a second of thought, nodded, causing Libby to give him the brightest smile he had ever seen on her face. He knew that, no matter how much he hated to dance, he would do absolutely anything in his power to make her that happy._

_When she took his hand, he followed her to the dance floor and turned to her, not sure of what to do. She took his right hand and placed it around her waist, while she took his left hand in her right. Her left hand snaked around his neck and he followed her lead, as she began moving to the music._

_“Don’t do anything fancy, Libs. I’ll embarrass both of us, if you do.”_

_Libby laughed._

_“I won’t. It’s nice, just like this.”_

_Libby rested her head against his chest and, in turn, Jerry rested his cheek against the top of her head. They swayed together stayed that way, together, for awhile._

_“Libs?”_

_“Yeah?”_

_“Have you been with anyone else? Since you married Drew, I mean. The way he has...”_

_“No.”_

_“Not with all his cheating? Never? How about kissed someone else?”_

_“Nope… It depends on what you mean with kiss, though... A few of Drew’s friends have made passes at me over the years – tried to kiss me or touch me, that kind of thing, but I didn’t kiss them back.”_

_“And you were never tempted?”_

_“No. I was married and I thought it was terrible of them to try something like that. I mean, what kind of loyalty is that, to try that with your friend’s wife? Plus, I wasn’t interested in any of them…”_

_Libby suddenly lifted her head, to look at him._

_“However... if the right man ever came along, who knows how I’d respond.”_

_They stopped dancing for a second, as they stared at one another._

_“Who is the… right man?” he choked out._

_“Who?”_

_“Um, I mean, what is your version of the right man? Or your ideal man?”_

_Libby began moving again, continuing their dance, as she pondered his question._

_“I’d prefer to have one who is faithful... but I don’t even know if that’s possible with men,” she added._

_“It’s absolutely possible, if you find the **right** man…” he stated. “What else?”_

_“One who is funny. There is nothing more attractive than a man with a good sense of humor, who can make me laugh.”_

_“Does Drew make you laugh?”_

_“No.”_

_She didn’t elaborate, so Jerry continued._

_“Ok, faithful and funny... What else?”_

_“Thoughtful… Kind… He’d have to be good to my kids, of course…”_

_“Perfectly reasonable. Anything else?”_

_“I can’t think of anything,” she shrugged. “Just… a good person.”_

_“Should he be good in bed?” he asked, teasingly._

_Libby rolled her eyes at him, before smiling._

_“Definitely. After 20 years of sub-par sex, I think I’d like someone who knows what they’re doing and can do it **well**.”_

_“Do **you** know what you’re doing?” he asked, before thinking._

_Libby looked up at him, meeting his searching look._

_She released his hand and moved her hands up to clasp both of hers at the base of his neck. Jerry followed suit by sliding his newly-released hand around her waist, so that he was holding her against him as they moved._

_“I **absolutely** do…” she responded. “But that only goes so far when you have a partner who is only interested in whether or not **he** gets off... It would be nice to have one who cares whether or not I do, so I don’t have to rush off to the bathroom afterwards, in order to finish myself.”_

_“That doesn’t sound very satisfying.”_

_“It **isn’t**.”_

_“You know, Libs, maybe you need to find yourself someone who **is** all those things. I’m sure guys’d be lining up, if they thought you were available.”_

_“I’m not **exactly** available… but you sound like you might have a guy in mind. Do you, Jer?”_

_Holding his eyes with her own, she began caressing the back of his neck with her fingertips._

_“I- I might.”_

_“Then maybe you should give me his number.”_

_“Maybe you **already** have it.”_

_Libby smirked at him._

_She continued stroking his neck, while staring deeply into his eyes. Trying to summon his nerve, Jerry removed his hand from her waist and brought it to her face, to cup her cheek. Ever so gently, he traced her bottom lip with his thumb._

_“Libs-” he said, nervously._

_“Yes, Jer?”_

_“I really... Can I-”_

_“Hey man, mind if I dance with the little missus?”_

_With an audible groan, Jerry turned to look at who had spoken. He realized that it was the same man whom he had seen talking to Libby earlier. The one she said had hit on her._

_The man looked to be in his 30s or 40s, was unsteady on his feet and obviously heavily intoxicated. Libby looked up at Jerry, as he slid a protective arm around her shoulders._

_“Look, guy,” Jerry started. “My… wife and I are kind of in the middle of something right now, so we’d **really** like to be alone.”_

_“Hey, you sing real good...” he said, looking at Libby._

_“Thank you,” she murmured._

_“How about just one dance? Just one?” he smiled, swaying back and forth._

_“Thanks, but I just want to be with my husband right now,” she answered, as she snaked her arms around Jerry’s waist and pressed herself closer to him._

_“I’m talking about **one** dance. You can go back to him right after-”_

_“Thank you, but I really-”_

_“Look,” the man said, leaning in closer to her, and apparently unwilling to take no for an answer. “My friends are all over there-”_

_Libby and Jerry glanced at the table he was gesturing to. There were several men sitting there, watching them, with grins on their faces._

_“-and I told them I was going to get the pretty singer to dance with me. You can’t just send me back there, empty-handed.”_

_“Hey man,” Jerry said, patiently. “She said ‘no’. Why don’t you give us a break, huh?”_

_The man ignored Jerry and suddenly sneered at Libby._

_“Oh, you’re one of those, huh? You stand up there, you sing like that, you dress like that and want everyone to pay attention to you. ‘Look at me, look at me.’ Then, when someone does, and maybe they want you to talk to them or dance with them, you want to be left alone. Typical stuck-up bitch.”_

_“Hey!” Jerry said, furiously advancing toward the guy._

_“Jerry, no!”_

_Libby immediately jumped in front of him, putting her body between Jerry and the drunk. She placed her hands on Jerry’s chest, touching him softly, but firmly, and looked up at him._

_“Don’t do anything,” she pleaded. “It’s not worth it.”_

_Jerry put his hands on her upper arms and gave them a gentle squeeze. Gingerly, he pulled her back to his side and put his arm around her, this time about her waist. Slowly, Jerry looked back at the man, who was still standing there, glaring at them._

_“Look buddy, I get it,” Jerry stated, in a voice that he struggled to keep filled with a friendly tone. “My wife here, she’s gorgeous, right? I **know** she is...”_

_Libby swung her head to look up at Jerry, continued talking._

_“And you think she’s hot? Me, too... And she’s incredibly sexy? Don’t I know it? Let me guess… You heard her up there, with that voice of an angel, and you **instantly** fell for her. She’s lovable... I know. I’ve been in love with her for **years** , so I absolutely get it...”_

_Eyes opening widely, Libby gaped at him, but Jerry continued speaking, as if she weren’t there._

_“But she told you that she’s married, guy, and that she’s here with someone, so have a some respect for that... She wasn’t trying to lead you on or anything. She got up to sing, that’s all. She doesn’t owe anyone anything and you wouldn’t like it if someone treated your mom or your sister or your daughter the way you’re treating her right now. Show a little courtesy, man. She deserves it.”_

_The man looked at Libby, but she was completely focused on Jerry._

_“What’re you drinking?” Jerry asked him. “Why don’t you and your friends have a couple more, on us? But please let us be because we’re about to go home… **together**.”_

_Without another word, the man staggered off the dance floor, Libby turned to Jerry and moved back into his arms. Slowly, she began swaying back and forth to the music, which caused him to do the same._

_“Thanks, Jer,” she murmured._

_“You don’t have to thank me.”_

_“Did you… **mean** those things you said to him?”_

_“Yeah, sure…” he said. “Some of them.”_

_“Which ones?”_

_“Um…” he hesitated. “The list of ones I didn’t mean would probably be shorter.”_

_“Then which ones **didn’t** you mean?”_

_When he didn’t answer, Libby pulled back and looked at him. Jerry gave her a shy smile._

_“None of them,” he admitted._

_She stared at him a long time, in shock, before a smile slowly crept across her face. She reached over and twined her fingers with his._

_“Why don’t we go back to the hotel?” she murmured._

_He nodded, in agreement._

_Jerry and Libby left the dance floor, stopping at the table to gather their belongings and so Jerry could tip the server. On the way out the door, he stopped at the table of the man who had been bothering Libby earlier. Smiling, he placed a hundred dollar bill on the table._

_“So you and all your friends can have a round or two on us. Have a nice night.”_

_Smirking, he put his hand on the small of Libby’s back and led her from the bar. Once on the street, they smiled at each other, shyly._

_“We should probably get a cab, huh?” he said._

_“Yes.”_

_Jerry hailed the first one he saw and, as soon as it pulled up, he ushered Libby into it. After giving the driver the address of their hotel, they settled into the back seat of the taxi._

_He noticed that Libby suddenly shivered._

_“Are you cold?” Jerry asked, removing his coat. “You can have my jacket.”_

_“I’m not cold.”_

_They smiled at each other, shyly, each of them uncertain as to what to do or say next._

_Jerry noticed a tiny fleck of something glittery on Libby’s cheek and moved to brush it away. As soon as his finger made contact with her face, she took a shaky breath, as she stared at him._

_Quickly, he removed his hand, but he didn’t take his eyes off of hers._

_“Libs…?”_

_“Yeah?”_

_Jerry took a deep breath and asked quickly, before he lost his nerve._

_“Can I kiss you?”_

_“God, yes...” she breathed, as if in relief._

_Placing his hand back onto her cheek, he stared into her eyes. He noticed that they were impossibly wide and appeared even darker than normal because of the lack of bright light. Her face was so close that he could see the slightest hint of the freckles that were hidden beneath her make up._

_In all the years they had worked together, Jerry had never managed to be this close to her. She was close enough that he could actually smell her. Her skin smelled of a mixture of vanilla and a flower… maybe an iris, he concluded. Nothing too strong, only a hint, but so intoxicating that he wanted nothing more than to bury his face against her neck and just drink in that scent._

_When he didn’t move toward her, Libby took the initiative. She leaned forward and pressed her slightly parted lips to his, causing Jerry to nearly collapse._

_Her lips were impossibly soft. When he touched them, it felt like satin being brushed against his lips. Warm satin that was draped against the softest feathered pillow in the world._

_Her fingers slid up into his hair, as she deepened the kiss, her parted lips meeting his over and over again, each time with increasingly more passion._

_When Jerry felt the tip of her tongue graze his, he lost all control of himself. One of his hands slid into her hair, while the other went into her suit jacket and around her, settling on the silky bare skin of her back. A giggle escaped Libby, as he pulled her closer toward him, but they did not break their kiss._

_Their hands were exploring one another, much the same as their tongues were doing in each other’s mouths. Jerry’s right hand moved from her back to her waist, where he began gently stroking up and down her side. He felt her shudder when he slightly grazed the side of her breast, but he didn’t move to touch it further. At the same time, one of Libby’s hands cupped Jerry’s cheek, while the other moved continually from his back to his chest, gently caressing all of the muscles she found there._

_The kiss seemed to go on forever, as neither wanted to be apart from the other for even a second but, eventually, the need for oxygen forced them to disentangle themselves._

_They both groaned as they separated, each gasping for air. They looked at each other for a second, before pressing their foreheads together, as they each tried to catch their breath._

_“What are you thinking?” she breathed._

_“Me? I’m thinking… **Finally**!”_

_Libby giggled._

_“You don’t know how long I’ve waited for the chance to kiss you,” he confessed. “How many nights I’ve sat up thinking about it, wondering what it would be like.”_

_“And did it live up to your expectations?”_

_“Oh, way beyond.”_

_She laughed again._

_“I probably taste like a brewery. I’ve had so much to drink tonight,” she stated, as if he hadn’t been there to witness it, much less to match her drink for drink._

_“You taste like heaven… like pineapple and coconut and cherries… like every wonderful flavor on earth. You taste like… **you** , Libs.”_

_“I’m pretty sure it’s that last tropical cocktail I had,” she chuckled._

_“Maybe, but I’m pretty sure you taste just like that all the time. It’s the way I’ve always dreamed you’d taste.”_

_“You dream about what I **taste** like? Jerry… That sounds like a sexual harassment lawsuit waiting to happen.”_

_Panicked, Jerry searched her face but saw the teasing look in her eyes and relaxed._

_“Yeah, I dream about it. I’ve dreamed about it a long time.”_

_“What other things do you dream about me?”_

_He sighed._

_“Oh Libs, so many... I couldn’t tell you, though, because that would **really** be a sexual harassment lawsuit.”_

_She snickered._

_Jerry reached over and ran the tip of his finger down her cheek._

_“But I do dream about you, Libs. A lot and I’ve been doing it for a very long time.”_

_“You’re being very sweet, Jer. I hope you’re not lying to me, just to try to get me into bed.”_

_“I would **never** lie to you, Libby.”_

_Libby scoffed, teasingly._

_“You **always** lie to me!”_

_“Just at work and it’s more teasing than lying… But Libs,” he said, taking her face in his hands and staring directly into her eyes. “You mean **so** much to me… I would never lie to you, not ever. Not about this.”_

_She smiled at him and leaned forward, to kiss him again._

_He heard her make a soft mewing sound as his tongue immediately met hers… a sound that drove him wild. His hand slid from her waist down her thigh and even further down her leg. As soon as his hand touched the bare skin of her knee, he felt Libby move spread her legs apart, allowing him access._

_Sending his hesitation, Libby maneuvered her leg, which was no small feat in the cramped backseat, so that she could hook it over his lap. Almost as if on autopilot, Jerry moved his hand to her other knee and began stroking her inner thigh. As she uttered a tiny whimper, Libby thrust her hips forward, forcing Jerry’s hand even further up her leg. His thumb accidentally brushed against the hem of her underwear, where it rested at the very top of her inner thigh, at the juncture where her leg met her-_

_Libby gasped into his mouth and Jerry immediately pulled his hand away, afraid he had gone too far._

_“You can touch me, Jer,” she breathed, heavily. “It’s ok.”_

_He shook his head, slightly, though his mouth didn’t leave hers._

_“Not here. Not like this.”_

_“Why not?” she asked, in a fevered whisper, her lips brushing against his as she spoke. “I’m not so drunk that I don’t know what I’m saying. I’m giving permission.”_

_He shook his head again, while still touching her face._

_“You don’t want me like that? Is that it?” she asked, pulling back to look at him._

_“God, no… I **do** want you like that. Desperately.”_

_“Then why are you saying no? You’re acting like I’m some precious treasure that you’re afraid to touch.”_

_“You **are** , Libs. You **are** a precious treasure and-” he leaned in close, to whisper in her ear. “I’m not going to... finger you in the back some filthy cab, in front of a stranger, no matter how **badly** I want you. You deserve better than that... Besides, I don’t want you to do anything you might regret tomorrow.”_

_“I won’t regret it… but if it’s that you don’t want me, just tell me.”_

_“Libs… I want you more than I want to be able to **breathe**... but I can wait.”_

_“But what if **I** can’t?” she murmured. “What if I can’t wait one more second to have you and I don’t care where we are or who’s watching?”_

_“What if this is the alcohol talking and not you? I don’t want you to wake up tomorrow and think ‘What the hell did I do?’”_

_“This is me, not the alcohol. I want this, Jerry. I want it and I want you. **Right. Now.** ”_

_Jerry pulled back to look at her and saw that she was serious. There was no indication of teasing anywhere on her features. He gulped, as he felt himself straining against his pants, begging to get free._

_Libby pulled his face to hers and, when their lips met again, she immediately took his hand and pushed it further up her skirt._

_“This is it!”_

_They pulled apart, startled to hear another voice._

_The cab driver was looking at them in the rear-view mirror, causing both Jerry and Libby to blush, furiously. Jerry pulled his hand out from under Libby’s skirt and reached for his wallet. As he paid the driver, Libby straightened her suit and smoothed her hair, trying to make herself presentable._

_Once they got out of the cab, they looked at each other. Libby reached up and, gingerly, wiped away the traces of lipstick she had left on his face. When she was finished, they smiled at each other, nervously._

_“I guess we should...” she said, gesturing to the hotel door._

_Jerry put one hand on her arm and, with the other, reached up to brush and errant lock of hair from her face._

_“Libs, we don’t have to do anything that you’re not comfortable with. Sometimes people get caught up in the heat of the moment and then have second thoughts afterwards... We can leave everything that happened tonight in that cab and never mention it again, if that’s what you want. We can just go back to normal and act like nothing ever happened.”_

_“Is that what you want?” she asked, softly._

_“God, no,” he replied. “But the most important thing to me is what **you** want.”_

_Libby suddenly grabbed his hand and raced into the hotel, dragging him behind her._

_“What’re you doin’ Libs? The elevators are that way,” he said, gesturing over his shoulder._

_“We’re going to the gift shop first,” she said, throwing him an impish grin. “We’re gonna buy **every** box of condoms on the shelf!”_

-

“What are you smirking about?” Libby asked, curiously, lifting her head from his shoulder.

Jerry shook his head, smiling.

“I just love you so much.”

“Well, I love you, too, honey…” she said, searching his face. “But you were thinking about something else. What is it?”

Jerry smiled at her.

“That you’re the _best_ thing that has ever happened to me… and you were _so_ worth the wait.”

Libby blushed and looked down, smiling. 

Nicky shifted in his sleep, on his mother’s lap. Libby kissed the top of his head and Jerry reached over to stroke his small cheek.

“So were you, little one,” he whispered, to their son.

“And so were _you_.”

Jerry looked from the little boy’s face, to see his wife smiling at him, tears in her eyes. Immediately, he reached over, to brush them away, before taking her face in his hands.

“Every day, I thank God for sending you to me,” she murmured.

Oblivious to anyone else but themselves, smiling, they shared gentle kiss.


End file.
